There is no real guide how to help people mourn but there are some tips how you can help your friend or family.
When someone dies, the environment is a little awkward. How can you help a friend, a partner or a family member when someone they lose someone they love? People get confronted with the fact that saying your last goodbyes are a part of life when someone they know is dying from a disease. Talking about death can be a big support.
Attention
Astonishment is a most felt feeling with a lost. People don’t like to talk about death and the person who died. What can we do to help? Take your time to listen to the one who is mourning, time will come when they do want to talk. Be modest, don’t bring up some personal experiences. Think practically, help the person with maybe cooking, cleaning, picking up the phone…
Listen
At a certain moment, people get aware of the lost. The actual mourning begins and that hurts. Fear, despair and guilt are feelings that the person is going to feel. Letting go of the person is a battle between commonsense and sentiment. Let someone talk about it, let them show their feelings. Don’t stop the person in his expression, not even when it are expressions of anger, denial or guilt.
Keep showing your interest
When the person realizes the fact someone is dead, they are going to feel lonely, hollow and absence. This can cause a depression where the thought of being dead their selves comes to mind often. This is normal, it isn’t surprising because life looks a little pointless at that moment. Always keep showing your interest, imagine how you would feel in that same situation and try to understand that person. This way you can carry a part of the grief and frustration, the conversations with that person will be real and reassuring.
Help with the closure
After a while, the processing will begin. ‘When’ is a good question, this isn’t the same for every human being, it varies. You will notice this by comments about the meaning of life. Mourning and intense grief is over. There is connection with real life again. Sometimes you need to lend a hand because some people can’t make their way to process alone. Reach out and help with the closure of the mourning process. Plan some trips which you know the person is going to like and talk about how great it is you had fun and laughed together. Attend the beautiful sides of life without suggesting to the person who died.